When we think about sharing messages, most of us probably think about something based on words.

But how often do we consider those messages conveyed by our actions?

As young children, we may have been taught that our “actions speak louder than words”. We were probably taught that telling someone we’ll tidy up after ourselves doesn’t mean much if we continue to leave a trail of destruction behind us wherever we go...

...but how many of us consider those things we tell ourselves through our actions?

When we don’t care for ourselves, we tell ourselves that we’re not worthy of care.

When we don’t ask for help, we tell ourselves that we’re not worthy of help.

When we are constantly worried about what clothes to wear despite having a wardrobe full of designer clothes, and we feel self-conscious in every piece we wear, we tell ourselves that we're not worthy to feel good on the inside simply because we don't look (as dictated by the societal and cultural beliefs) a certain way.

These messages aren’t usually loud – in fact, often, they’re almost silent. We might not even notice them. They can go undetected.

But they’re persistent.

They ever-so-slowly chip away at our self-worth. In the same way that we might not notice a leaky pipe until it bursts through our ceiling, we might not notice our self-worth diminishing one tiny chip at a time, until we don't think much of ourselves at all.

Learning to notice, unpick, and change our actions to adjust these messages is hard. It’s really hard. It can take a long time. But little by little, step by step, we can adjust our actions. We can change the messages we give ourselves.

We don’t have to jump two feet in and immediately start changing everything we can think of.

Firstly, that would be immensely stressful.

Secondly, it just isn’t realistic.

We don’t live in a vacuum. Each of us is constantly trying to balance our needs with our commitments, lifestyle, and other priorities.

What can you do with this knowledge?

The first step is to notice the messages. Just to notice them. Noticing them doesn’t mean that we have to do anything about them – that might feel too much right now - just notice them.

Letting ourselves notice means that we’re up for giving ourselves a chance. A chance to become more aware of these messages. A chance to start making some teeny tiny changes as and when we're ready.

Because we are worth it. We are so worth it.

You deserve care.

You deserve love.

You deserve kindness.

You deserve comfort.

You deserve rest.

You deserve support.

You deserve softness.

You deserve ease.

You deserve all of the love, support and care that you so readily give to others.

You deserve messages that build your self-worth, not those that chip away at it. So let’s take the chance to start noticing the messages our actions convey. If making changes feels too much right now, that’s okay, but let’s start noticing.

I'm here alongside you, always.

Megha

​

P.S. Why our words matter.​

If this email was forwarded to you, consider subscribing to receive them in future!