People aren't backwards to come forwards with their opinions, their 'should's' and their perspectives on how our stories ought to unfold.

Sometimes these are masked as judgment-laden curiosity: "you're approaching your 2nd wedding anniversary, will there soon be a baby on the way?".

As surprise: "watch your waist, you're soon going to get married...right?!"

Or the ol' "if it were me, I'd..."

Or the "only if you had slimmer.....you'd be desirable"

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Unsolicited advice or judgment with icing, sprinkles and cherries on top.

More often than not, these come from well-meaning relatives who express their agreement or disagreement with our life choices. But they can come from anywhere; friends, magazines, social media, societal cultures, every which way.

And it can be a heavy burden to bear; that we might not be meeting expectations of us.

That we might not match up with the 'master life plan' - as though everyone got given a handbook about life that we're not privy to.

That we're a disappointment.

In fact, there are times when we fear that disappointment so tangibly, that we hide who we are.

We bend over backwards and compromise our truth because we're fearful of the backlash.

And to be quite frank, it's a repeated travesty that we all know too well.

It smarts, it adds friction, we feel 'fake', we feel lost, we feel resentful, and it keeps us in 'line' whatever this 'line' is that we try to stay in it.

It keeps us unhappy, too.

Those remarks, looks, comments and judgments often come from a place of regret, control, assumptions which aren't for us to heal, mend or adhere to.

And in moments of hurt, pain, deep anguish many women write to me or apply for Be Healthy Be You, my weight loss coaching program.

The examples above are a handful from the many applications I have reviewed till date.

They feel (or secretly wish) that somehow looking different or weighing a certain number shall stop the remarks, the hurtful advices, the tearing down.

But I'm here to tell you the truth.

We don't half deserve more. Much more.

We deserve to go the whole mile and live our lives as truthfully, authentically and freely as is humanly possible.

The only permission we need to do that, is ours.

The only person who gets to decide what our 'master life plan' is, is us.

The only person we need approval from, is ourselves.

And if you truly, dearly want to change the way you look, weigh different than you do today, learn to feel good about your body, the choice has to come from a burning desire within YOURSELF.

The only women who successfully shed all their extra weight and master the skill of maintaining it comfortably are those who -

• Are passionate about creating long-term health and are committed to learning all the skills that shall make the rest of their life the best of their life.
• Believe that becoming their healthiest, authentic self is an investment in achieving excellence.
• Desire to make an impact in their world with their unique gifts.

The good news is, any woman can be that woman if she decides that she is worth the hard work of creating a healthier mind-body for the long term.

But the desire to change your body should come from within you. It shouldn't be an extension of the expectations from the society or to conform to the belief that women ought to look a certain way and weigh a certain number.

We can go our own way.

We can CHOOSE to live life on our own terms.

Always cheering for you,

Megha

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